Failure, Shame, and Forgiveness

Speaking to His disciples about His approaching betrayal and death, Jesus said "Dear children, I will be with you only a little longer". "And as I told the Jewish leaders, you will search for me, but you can’t come where I am going". Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going"? And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later”. “But why can’t I come now, Lord” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you”. Jesus answered, “Die for me"? "I tell you the truth, Peter—before the rooster crows tomorrow morning, you will deny three times that you even know me". Wow; to be Peter! I wonder what ran through his mind at that moment listening to Jesus predict his denial. Was he surprised? Maybe. Was he offended? Possibly. Did he buy in? No! In Fact, he went on to say "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." Well, we all know the rest of the story; Jesus is betrayed by Judas - and Peter (who indeed denied Him three times), left Jesus to stand trial and suffer....alone.

Oh to be Peter; how he must have suffered through the thought of his failures. How devastated he must have felt after leaving his teacher, his friend, his Lord to suffer and die alone. How his heart must have pained through feelings of shame and sadness. Oh to be Peter! I'm sure this disciple believed he would stand with Jesus to the bitter end - whatever the cost; in fact, I have no doubt that he believed in his words spoken to Jesus a short time before his death..... "Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you." However, he failed to follow through; he didn't deliver.

So many of us suffer the same affliction, don't we? We have the heart and certainly the best of intentions, yet somewhere along the way we fail to follow through; we don't deliver. Jesus of course knows this about us; however, and incredibly - He loves us just the same (as proven by His work on the cross). You see, Jesus came for one reason and one reason alone - LOVE! His love for us; His creation, is so great, that He couldn't stand by and watch us fail time and time again knowing full well the penalty for such was death. So He chose to meet us in our failures, to provide a path, a solution through a blood stained cross, and the only sacrifice that could give eternal life - Himself. In doing so, grace was given to all who believe; in fact, Paul goes on to tell us in Romans that we are actually credited righteousness by our faith in Him and our belief in His works. God knew this was the only way, because no matter our heart or our best intentions, often times - we fail to follow through; we don't deliver.

God knows we will make mistakes, He knows we will make poor choices, He knows we will fail; but, He never wants to be left out. Even in our failures, He wants to be the focal point of our lives. At times we may feel as though we have screwed up so badly that God is the last one we wish to confront; that this particular mistake was far worse than the last, and God could not possibly understand, let alone forgive us.....once again. But truly, it is during these times God wants to shower us with His love, His understanding, and His forgiveness. If we would only include Him, invite Him in, ask for forgiveness and the wisdom to have learned from our mistakes, and then accept His forgiveness through His unquestionable mercy and endless grace - we would move on through life without shame, feeling comforted, and know we are both loved and equipped to handle all things this world may place in our way.

Three days after His crucifiction, Jesus returned to His disciples and stood on the shores of the Tiberias calling out to them saying "Friends, haven't you any fish?" "No," they answered. He said, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him and jumped into the water, the other disciples followed in the boat. Peter knew his Lord had returned, and without hesitation, without thought of his failures or feelings of shame, he ran to Jesus. Actually, he jumped out of a boat, into the water, and swam!

We are not much different from Peter as we suffer through our self-inflicted failures time and again; however, because of Gods never-ending grace, because of His sacrifice, because of His love, and because of our faith in Him - we are forgiven. Peter teaches us two very important things in scripture; one, we will mess up! We will make poor choices which impact our lives and of those around us when we fail to rely solely and completely on God. Second, and maybe most important, when we do fail - that's when we need God the most. We should not attempt to hide from his presence, ignore His place in our lives; but rather, we should run straight to Him. In fact, we should jump out of the boat, into the water, and swim!

Sam Jones
First is the Kingdom!